The Rude Parent

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I am soooo thankful Mr. Fishy is back to his normal self…..

I do not put much faith in this but I thought y’all might enjoy it:

The Best and Worst Drivers By Sign :

 Best – Aries: Rams tend to be in a rush to get to every destination but are great drivers because they take care of themselves and stay out of trouble.

No. 2 – Cancer: Crabs prefer a mini-van to a Maserati, with space for everyone from grandma to the many lost dogs and homeless people they may find

No. 3 – Taurus: Bulls drive the nicest, most luxurious cars and can be found travelling along the scenic route, listening to their state-of-the-art sound system

No. 4 – Gemini: These natural multitaskers can be found behind the wheel of a car while simultaneously checking their palms, on their cell phones and shaving.

No. 5 – Sagittarius: These adventurous souls can be found happily zipping along in a luxury business sedan on their way to a power luncheon or corporate takeover.

No. 6 – Capricorn: These punctual, festidious drivers can be recognized for their perfect road etiquette (i.e. driving exactly the speed limit) or lecturing those who lack it.

No. 7 – Pisces: Most likely to pick up a hitchhiker or be a hitchhiker. However, these water lovers usually travel by boat — or astral projection.

No. 8 – Scorpio: If they must leave home, they prefer to take the secret way to a destination, in a vehicle with tinted windows and unmarked plates.

No. 9 – Libra: Most likely to apply makeup when driving, which perhaps is why they’re also most likely found getting phone numbers of other drivers at red lights.

No. 10 – Aquarius: These are the drivers most likely to have electric cars or those powered by potato juice and believe driving studies are a scam to raise premiums.

No. 11 – Leo: Leos are the most likely to not be driving at all, as it is beneath their dignity. They prefer to employ a chauffeur — or better yet, have others come to them

No. 12 – Virgo: These persnickity drivers can be observed tooling around town in their spotless, handwaxed, air-freshened vehicles.

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Do $100 nikes make a person run faster? Well, unfortunately, I must report that son #1 did run faster. He played an even better game last night than Tuesday’s game. 

 

Since I had Wee One in tow, I arrived at the game about 2 minutes into the 1st quarter. The good seats were taken. I found a spot where I could keep Toddler Terror hemmed up and see the game. It was in between some parents of the opposing team.

 My son ,#32, is an aggressive ball player, he is an aggressive athlete in general, a go-get-em player.

 The mother of an opposing player that my son snatched the ball from on a rebound said to the other parents sitting near her, ”That kid is mean, #32, he plays like this is college ball.”

(son #1 never had ONE foul the entire game)

I wanted to tell that mother that her son played like a girl, but I did not, I kept my mouth shut. I have more class than her.  I was sitting smack dab in the middle of the enemies camp, it probably would not have been wise either.

Son #1 had his own little fan club going by then, 2 of his old coaches were hollering and cheering him on, other parents, and the cheerleaders. Wee One and I were cheering for “Bubba”.

I explained to Wee One that his brother was #32 and he was playing a good game. From then on we cheered for #32. I received a sideways dirty look from that mother. I gave her my best ‘fake’ smile.

Soon son #1’s coach’s girlfriend came over and sat with Wee One and I. Wee One sat still. She is a pretty girl and Wee One was on his best behavior after that.

Son #1’s team won. We play again today but we are unsure what time. I do know it is between noon and 4pm. Which sucks for me because I have a doctor’s appointment in Tulsa and I have to do our Thanksgiving meal shopping while Wee One is at his daycare today.

 

Sigh, I wish I could clone myself.

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