Toddler Terror is in Fine Form Today

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Toddler Terror’s artwork. Whoever invented washable finger-paints and markers is a total genius and I am forever indebted to them.
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A picture of the maniac after I chased him down and wrestled my cell phone away from him, I have no idea who he called but I could hear a faint “hello?, Hello? Hello?” coming from it-grrrrrrrrrrrr!
Here is a list of wee one’s antics today.
1. acted like a complete crazy fool who has never been outside when the horse-shoer was here.
2. locked himself inside my bathroom and squirted ‘Olay’ body wash all over the bath tub, then rubbed his eye so it burned and needed washed out after I finally picked the lock on the door.
3. snatched my cell phone out of my purse, hid it when I went to get it from him. As soon as I left the room to get the house phone to locate my cell phone, he grabbed the cell phone from its hiding place, ran behind the couch and pushed a bunch of buttons on it.
4. locked me outside the house when the horse shoer was here
5. chewed off the legs of one of his barnyard toy holstein cows then insisted on running around the house with it in his mouth until I tackled him and took the cow away.
6. pushed his step stool up to the thermastat and turned the AC up to 95+ degrees, I didnt notice until I started to sweat while doing house work and then got suspicious when I never heard the air compressor turn on.
7. asked for mac N cheese for lunch, I made it for him. He shoved half the bowl in his mouth, jumped down from the table, ran into the living room and spit it out on the rug. WTF!

I am calling my MD and requesting a prescription for some valium or some xanax or something in the tranquilizer chemistry family-to hell with the liquer store!

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Look, someone else has an ugly green halter just like the horses at our house! This is a lovely overo paint horse. I LOVE that deep rich bay/brown that is rare in the paints around here. This mare is a beauty. Her eyes are a lovely color too. She is certainly one of a kind, no losing this horse in the herd.

Oh, I think I hear the phone ringing…oh please let that be my good doctor!



Filed under Rants

13 responses to “Toddler Terror is in Fine Form Today

  1. Wow! I think in Diane’s stash of RX’s she could probably come up with something. Just a thought, no locks?

    BTW-that cell phone call? I think I that was TT’s bookie.

    Just wrote a poem for Cowgirl’s new post. Check it out in the comments.

  2. TT has a bookie? For what? Bets on how many gray hairs he can give his mom in a day? lol 😉

    Lovely Paint…I used to have a nice HA pinto that was deep bay like that…but no blue eyes. And she was a tobiano. Ok, not so similar, but you know what I am getting at.

    I am sticking with alcohol. Kids might change my mind. Hang in there.

    OH! I almost forgot! I might be hauling a horse to Okie!!! (so I can pick up a Aussie pup while I am there….)

    And I so agree with you on the barrel horse thing…I would much rather be able to enjoy it right off the bat…I have already paid my dues! 😉

  3. brian-too bad diane’s stash is so far away! just joking;) I keep s spare house key hidden outside at all times…for emergancies like today. I wouldnt doubt wee one has a bookie, he is that sneaky! hes napping right now much to my delight whew

    cowgirl-I have a huge streak on the left side of my head near my forehead about 3 inches wide where my hair is ALL WHITE…scary I know luckily I am a salon blonde, cantr imagine the horror if I let it go back to natural color. Aussie pup? awesome!red or blue? you’ll find people in Okla are pretty cool and wave at ya whether they know ya or not: ) and I am all for a finished barrel horse, like you said you’ve paid your dues already. Now its time to enjoy the ride.

  4. Anonymous

    Hi BG, Diane here. I’ve tried them all, prozac, xanax, effexor – on & on. None work like booze. He really IS a terror! Locked you out?! and the bathrom too? The roni & chz woulda been the end for me. That’s when I’m all for caging them, until their 18.

  5. diane-yep, he REALLY is a handful, his brother was a piece of cake when he was younger…no fair! If I tried lockinghim up, he’d just escape, REALLY!

  6. Going home now. Have a great night. See you tomorrow!

  7. the pup is a blue merle female! So if I come down there, expect a phone call.

  8. WOW! What a day you had; leave it to kidlings to do something crazy to completely occupy your time and not let you ogle the shoe guy LOL!

    BTW, your walking stick pic reminded me of one I saw in Malaysia; it was a walking BRANCH! 6 – 8 inches long and as big as my little finger. Bugs don’t usually bother me, but I confess to jumping up and yelling like a school girl! (well, I jumped up and yelled WTF is THAT??? hehehehe, aw, good times 🙂

  9. kel

    I clicked on blogs and saw the pic which is the movie my son just begged me out of at the store. His sister is so against Backyardigans (because she is way too 8)

  10. bg- combo of being uninspired, and preoccupied with some stuff here. i got the blogger blues.

  11. that was supposed to be on the previous post- sorry

  12. Hello Barn Goddess,

    was browsing your blog today and very much inspired by the pictures and posts of horses. You have such an envious life. Truly.

    Anyway, thank you.


  13. cowgril-OK, lovely pup

    rude1-no ogling the shoe guy yesterday much to my disappointment! That walkingstick scared me, I KNOW I squealed like a school girl but I bet it wasnt as funny as you squealing…heehee

    kel-The Backyardigans rule around here!

    jake-Ive been kinda blue too…

    GG-thnx for the compliment…but my life is FAR from envious…..I hope you visit again!

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