Every day, mon-fri, at 8 am and noon, I see the usual variety of mothers picking up/dropping off their preschoolers from Wee One’s school.
Maybe I should not describe the mothers as ‘usual’ variety because they are indeed unique. Let me be more specific.
1. The Beauty Queen Mother: BQM is always dressed for success, even at 8am in the morning. She is color coordinated, wears name brand clothing/shoes, and carries a very expensive Coach bag. BQM drives a BMW, has manicured nails, red lipstick, and does not talk to anyone. She always has a 100 watt capped smile slapped on her face, even when she is dragging her kicking and screaming 4 yo daughter behind her out the school’s door. BQM gets a gold star because she always looks cool, calm, and collected despite the ‘dumb-blondeness’ aura that follows her closely.
2. The AMY WINEHOUSE Twin. Yes, I am serious. But AWT is a better looking and cleaner version of the real Amy Winehouse. AWT drives a Black Camaro, has long black teased hair, lots of tattoos and piercings. AWT is usually dressed in dark gothic clothing that exposes her porcelain white skin, and dangling a cigarette from her black painted talons. AWT looks unapproachable but in reality, she is a very nice gal. I’ve visited with her a few times and came away thinking, ‘wow, you are really nothing like you appear to be’.
3. The Sloth Mother. I often wonder is SM owns a hair brush. It is a safe bet that SM goes thru out the entire day wearing her pjs. SM drives a dirty station wagon and often arrives late. Her hair is a snarled mess and I have never seen her in ‘normal’ clothing, unless you consider pajama pants and t-shirts, normal clothing. As sad as it is, her child is a mess too.
4. The Teenage Russian Mail-order Bride. TRMB is a tall, slender brunette who is always dressed in matching knits and white tennis shoes. TRMB does not looks a day over 18 years old but has 2 small children in preschool. She speaks with a heavy accent and generally stands around nodding her head. I have heard her speaking to her small children in Russian. I like the sounds of her language even though I have no idea what she is saying. TRMB drives a blue ford Fusion that looks immaculately kept. I saw her husband once, at first I thought he was her father. I was wrong.
5. The Meth-Head Mom. I know she is a meth head because she was busted for methamphetime twice in the last 4 years. MM is my least favorite of the mothers. She has a loud, crack-ho voice that grates on my nerves. You can tell when MM has not had her ‘fix‘ because she stumbles into the school in her sweats, bleary eyed, four inch dark roots tangled, and looking/smelling like she just rolled out of bed. Then, there are the days when she is on her ‘dope‘. MM is slightly manic acting with jerky movements. Scary! But, she has the sweetest little boy I have ever seen. He is one of my favorites in Wee One’s class. Poor kid.
6. The Redneck Mom. RM is my favorite mother. She drives an old red ford feed truck, wears boots, a baseball cap, and is salt of the Earth. RM is a widow who is raising her 2 kids alone. She keeps cattle, a few horses, and other various farm animals. Needless to say, RM and I usually have a lot to visit about. I am amazed at this woman’s strength at raising her children alone in this day and age. Her son is in Wee One’s class and is just as friendly as his mother. RM usually arrives early and is in a rush since the time change…one thing she and I have in common.
A cold front has blown thru and depleted our trees of their remaining leaves…
My latest reads.
I am not sure why I checked out another James Patterson book to read. The last few Ive been sorely disappointed in.
‘The Woods’ by harlan Coben I just started, it is addictive so far!
Marvin’s *ss is so huge, it takes up half of my bed.
I have a king-size bed.
Wednesday morning, I took Marvin into the vet for a cortisone shot. He was a bit itchy. Marvin has allergies…..I always wondered if they are ‘people allergies’.
I also had to pick up more Frontline for Cats. Marvin has to have a dosage every 3 weeks because of his huge, furry *ss.
The vet said Marvin needs to go on a diet.
Ahem, so do I but I am not!