The PreSchool Mothers

Every day, mon-fri, at 8 am and noon, I see the usual variety of mothers picking up/dropping off their preschoolers from Wee One’s school.

Maybe I should not describe the mothers as ‘usual’ variety because they are indeed unique. Let me be more specific.

1. The Beauty Queen Mother: BQM is always dressed for success, even at 8am in the morning. She is color coordinated, wears name brand clothing/shoes, and carries a very expensive Coach bag. BQM drives a BMW, has manicured nails, red lipstick, and does not talk to anyone. She always has a 100 watt capped smile slapped on her face, even when she is dragging her kicking and screaming 4 yo daughter behind her out the school’s door. BQM gets a gold star because she always looks cool, calm, and collected despite the ‘dumb-blondeness’ aura that follows her closely.

2. The AMY WINEHOUSE Twin. Yes, I am serious. But AWT is a better looking and cleaner version of the real Amy Winehouse. AWT drives a Black Camaro, has long black teased hair, lots of tattoos and piercings. AWT is usually dressed in dark gothic clothing that exposes her porcelain white skin, and dangling a cigarette from her black painted talons. AWT looks unapproachable but in reality, she is a very nice gal. I’ve visited with her a few times and came away thinking, ‘wow, you are really nothing like you appear to be’.

3. The Sloth Mother. I often wonder is SM owns a hair brush. It is a safe bet that SM goes thru out the entire day wearing her pjs. SM drives a dirty station wagon and often arrives late. Her hair is a snarled mess and I have never seen her in ‘normal’ clothing, unless you consider pajama pants and t-shirts, normal clothing. As sad as it is, her child is a mess too.

4. The Teenage Russian Mail-order Bride. TRMB is a tall, slender brunette who is always dressed in matching knits and white tennis shoes. TRMB does not looks a day over 18 years old but has 2 small children in preschool. She speaks with a heavy accent and generally stands around nodding her head. I have heard her speaking to her small children in Russian. I like the sounds of her language even though I have no idea what she is saying. TRMB drives a blue ford Fusion that looks immaculately kept. I saw her husband once, at first I thought he was her father. I was wrong.

5. The Meth-Head Mom. I know she is a meth head because she was busted for methamphetime twice in the last 4 years. MM is my least favorite of the mothers. She has a loud, crack-ho voice that grates on my nerves. You can tell when MM has not had her ‘fix‘ because she stumbles into the school in her sweats, bleary eyed, four inch dark roots tangled, and looking/smelling like she just rolled out of bed. Then, there are the days when she is on her ‘dope‘. MM is slightly manic acting with jerky movements. Scary! But, she has the sweetest little boy I have ever seen. He is one of my favorites in Wee One’s class. Poor kid.

6. The Redneck Mom. RM is my favorite mother. She drives an old red ford feed truck, wears boots, a baseball cap, and is salt of the Earth. RM is a widow who is raising her 2 kids alone. She keeps cattle, a few horses, and other various farm animals. Needless to say, RM and I usually have a lot to visit about. I am amazed at this woman’s strength at raising her children alone in this day and age. Her son is in Wee One’s class and is just as friendly as his mother. RM usually arrives early and is in a rush since the time change…one thing she and I have in common.

A cold front has blown thru and depleted our trees of their remaining leaves…

My latest reads.

I am not sure why I checked out another James Patterson book to read. The last few Ive been sorely disappointed in.

‘The Woods’ by harlan Coben I just started, it is addictive so far!

Marvin’s *ss is so huge, it takes up half of my bed.

I have a king-size bed.

Wednesday morning, I took Marvin into the vet for a cortisone shot. He was a bit itchy. Marvin has allergies…..I always wondered if they are ‘people allergies’.

I also had to pick up more Frontline for Cats. Marvin has to have a dosage every 3 weeks because of his huge, furry *ss.

The vet said Marvin needs to go on a diet.

Ahem, so do I but I am not!

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32 Comments

Filed under Books, Family Life, Horses, Marvin, Ramblings

32 responses to “The PreSchool Mothers

  1. jo

    Sounds like a well rounded group of moms !
    I actually lived the era that moms dropped off their kids while still in robes and rollers.( what’s 2 blocks, right :-p )
    I have to show midkid this post..she will surely get a chuckle and identify with you.
    Hope all is well…when ya gonna get that buck ?

  2. I really liked The Woods by Harlan Coben. I put a review of it on my blog.

    Your pre-school mother descriptions are funny!

  3. Aniin BG. Well, you left yourself wide open for this question. How would you be described in this group?

    The Power Mother! 😉

    Love the pic of Marvin. He’s like a small dog in many ways.

  4. The place where we do coverage down town is right beside a day care…and I see alot of the parents going in and out…that part of your post was funny…I see people that look like that going in there alot.

    Marvin is gorgeous!! I had one of my cats spayed this year…I have had her for 5 yrs and she has never gained an ounce…until her surgery…now she’s all tubbed out and I’ve had to cut back her intake alittle…wonder why they do that after surgeries?

  5. Thanks for the visuals! Those made me laugh – because I think a few of the EXACT same go to my kids school too. (the meth mom makes me extremely sad)

  6. let me know about the patterson book.

    God I love your rundown of mothers lol

  7. What a cast of characters! You really have an interesting life.I wish I could sleep as easily as Marvin looks.

  8. LOL, I loved your mommy descriptions.

    I’m an odd combination in the morning for school drop-off. I’m dressed up for work and have my makeup done, but I don’t do my hair until after I’m done dropping off the kids (otherwise I’d have to redo it).

  9. Our animals are scratching but I haven’t found fleas. I would think they (or signs of them) would be easy to find on our orange cats.

    We have used Frontline on everybody, though.

    I loved your mommy descriptions, too. Everybody knows someone like each of your mommies. So, your words brought specific people to mind, vividly.

  10. dickiebo

    7. Ol’ Soft Touch. She’s a no-nonsense type mum, except when it comes to ol’ Scooter, Marvin, Freddie, Wee One, and Son One. Friendly enough but…keep away from her in the deer-hunting season!

  11. jo-I can remember being in early grade school at St. Marys and seeing some mothers dropping their kids off in rollers!

    arkansassongbird-so far, I am really enjoying the book

    brian-ha, power! yeah right 😉 Marvin does act more like a dog than a cat, I think he has an identity crisis.

    kat-I was told it is because they arent as active when they get spayed/neutered….

    karmynR-I am sad for her little boy, fortunately, Ive seen his father a few times and he seems like a good dad. BUt, hes gone on pipeline (is what I gathered from conversation).

    anne-okay, the last few have sucked

    MM-I wish I could sleep as easily as my cats too!

    momto3cubs-by the time I get finished w/ my barn stuff in the AM, my hair looks a fright. I always have to brush or finger comb before I go into school. I cant seem to stand hair spray anymore.

    jolyana-Frontline is awesome to keep fleas away. I use it religiously. Marv has allergies and needs to get an $8 cortisone shot every 6 months. Luckily, thats all my vet charges me is $8 and never an office call.

    dickiebo-awwww, thnx! I like the no nonsense part especially 🙂

  12. Hmmm, I thought I left a comment on this one yesterday. I must have failed to click something-or-other.

    Anyhow, your descriptions of the moms are great!

    I’ve recently discovered Harlan Corben. He scares me to death, but he’s a good writer. I’ve read that Patterson book. After awhile, his books all seem the same.

  13. Funny.
    Marvin looks content to me.

  14. Your descriptions of the Moms is great!!! I wish I had thought to do that when I was still doing pre-school. The ones at 1st grade, well there are just too many.

    Hope you are well!

  15. What an interesting collection moms you’ve got there! lol…

    Marvin definitely looks fat and very happy… How can that be wrong???

  16. Kat

    Hmmmmmm…she’s always and still is jumping off the walls. I figured that was why she never gained weight before. Doc said she had endometriosis and had to do a kitty hysterectomy on her. I thought it might be a hormone issue. My other cat didn’t gain any after her surgery, but I know a few who did. Hey, do any of your pets get the tick vaccine at the vet? My dog got those this year because we are in a somewhat wooded area…and he never had a flea on him this summer either. Maybe it works for both?

  17. LOL yes we have those sorts of mums in the UK. I think we also have the “pack mum” those who arrive early to drop their children off at school and stand around talking to one another in a clique. Their children meanwhile run around unsupervised before the school doors open.

    Frontline is the stuff our vet recommends.

  18. donna-blogger was giving me fits yesterday! I guess wordless wed. took up all of their bandwidth??? Harlan Corben is turning into one of my fave writers. This is an excellent book so far

    kelli-hes content all right…

    pinky-thnks! missed ya

    pavel-really, how can it be wrong?!?!

    kat-I agree it is a hormone issue, I think my vet is afraid that people will stop ‘fixing’ their pets if she says anything different

    melanie-lol, packmoms. I havent seen any of those yet…..but Ill be watching for them!

  19. So are you watching “women’s murder club”? I used to love to read JPatterson when I was going thru my murder/cop story phase. I haven’t read any in awhile but I like the show. I’m sure it’s partly an Angie Harmon thing tho, always thought she was beautiful.

    Like your rundown of moms … I’d be for liking redneck mom as well.

  20. James Patterson is usually a quick read, he has lots of chapters and his books always seem to go fast for me. I listen to lots of books on tape/cd, just finished a “Nevada Barr” story, “Flashback”, and it was very good. Lots of good descriptions of events, people, things. Reminded me of your writings. That’s a good thing!

  21. P.S. marvin looks great, could be a bro to my Sassy cat!! teehee.

  22. Have you watched that new tv show on friday nights supposed to be based on James Patterson novels. Women’s Murder Club, I liked the first episode but either I’m not paying attention or they are getting worse as time goes on

  23. Oh how I do not miss those days of dropping them off at school. Even through highschool, there were the variety of “Moms”. I remember one that when the kid got of the car, a trail of dirty clothes fell out with the kid. Now what do you call the mom in cowboy boots, pajamas, hair pulled back, sunglasses, lipstick, and playing country music in a Jaguar X-type?

  24. Rebecca

    If you enjoy the mom’s at your preschool…you should sit in on one of our parent conferences sometime……I’d love to read some of their reviews on your blog.

    Poor Marvin. My fat ass needs a diet too.

  25. I’m a MMINOLHR.

    That would be Mother Most In Need Of Laser Hair Removal.

    My sideburns alone are legendary around these here parts.

  26. If those moms ever figure out you have a blog, you’re going to be dead meat. But I can see them standing before me clear as day. lol

    I didn’t even know what a Coach purse was until last year. Guess that’s not on my list of priorities.

    And what’s the deal? You’re picking on my cat again. Marvin does not have a fat a**

    Today was the day I was supposed to go to Tulsa, guess it’s a good thing I didn’t buy tickets and stuff cause I’m too darn sore to go!

  27. kheatherg

    As a parent of a pre-schooler I can totally vouge for your descriptions of mothers. We have the same mothers at our school! What is it with not getting dressed to take your kid to school?

  28. michelle-nope, I have not seen the show, but Ive heard about it,it was a good book.

    jjulesnorth-hey sista! thnx for the compliment, I am humbled. Sassy is a BRAT cat, the worse I have EVER seen…she is more likely to be related to LEWIS the badass cat. Sassy loves me tho…ir at least my suitcase when I come to visit.

    Anne-haha, I bet its getting worse as time goes on just like his books are!

    callie-“Now what do you call the mom in cowboy boots, pajamas, hair pulled back, sunglasses, lipstick, and playing country music in a Jaguar X-type?” A TRAINWRECK

    rebecca-oh, how I would LOVE to sit in invisible on your parent teacher conferences. I would have TONS of writing material. There are quite a few other mothers but I just wrote about the ‘intersting’ ones.

    EWBL-lol, your name, MMINOLHR. Gave me a giggle!!!! whats wrong w/ side burns?

    risingrainbow-its cold and blustery here today. I hope its warmer where your at but I doubt it. Ouch, I hope your soreness wears off asap! I love vintage Coach bags, I have a few. I cannot afford to buy new ones unless off of Ebay. Ha, marv is in trouble this AM. He hacked up a hairball in the bathroom carpet and it took me 15 minutes to clean the spot spotless-gah!

    kheatherg-When I drop off Wee at school by 8am 15 minutes away from our home, I am fully dressed for the day and have already fed my horse and donkey, cooked breakfast and cleaned up, made beds, and answered all my emails! I cannot understand how people can ‘sloth’ around for days, it is beyond me.

  29. Aww but I looove his bigness:)

    It seems all types are around us,huh?
    Around here,the most common type of woman is the rancher’s wife.

  30. You sure gave me a good chuckle today! I can just picture those gals in my mind! So too bad about the dru*ggie mom, how sad!!! Give that little boy a hug for me, he’s going to need all of them that he can get in life!

    Picking on poor Marvin!! I’m right there in the big be-hind section too so he and I could have something to bond over!

  31. Pingback: Things I’ve Learned & More « Ramblings From The Reservation

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