Imposter

 

One day before I became ill, the first imposter sighting was brought to my attention. I was scrubbing the bathrooms when I heard my cell phone ring. I stop what I am doing and answer it. It is my guy friend D:

D,” what are you doing?”

Me,” scrubbing toilets, wanna come over and help?”

D, ” you are not. I just saw you at the 4-way (stop) in town and you ignored me.”

Me, “wasnt me, I am at home and have been all morning since I dropped off Wee One.”

D, “really?”

Me, ” yes! why would I lie about it? geesh!”

D, “I swear it was you in your car. It looked just like you.”

Me, “not me, shouldnt you be working or something?”

D, “yep Im driving to a location now, gotta go. Bye”

The second time the imposter fools someone. It is a few days after the first incidence and D’s phone call. It happens on a school day and the time is 12:10pm. Wee One and I are driving home from his school when my cell phone rings, it is Bubba:

Bubba, “Hey mom. I see you in your car right now”

Me, “what arent you at school? why arent you at wrestling practice?”

Bubba, “Im outside at the school playing hoops because the wrestling room is full with the high schoolers meeting. I just saw you drive by the courts. Why didnt you stop? Im hungry and I am not eating the school food today, it’s meatloaf. yuck.”

I dislike meatloaf with a passion so I would never, ever make anyone eat that crap. Growing up it reminded me of the Ole Shep dog food my Grandmother fed her nasty little pom, his name was Chico and he was not a nice dog.

Me, “it is not me, I am half way between F ‘s ranch and home.”

Bubba, “uhuh, it was you, I saw your hair.”

Me, “how can I physically be 30 mi away from Wee One’s school at 12:10? I pick him up at noon everyday. think about it.”

Bubba, “huh, it sure looked like you.”

Me, “nope. guess you’ll have to eat out of the vending machine. Try not to eat just crap okay? see ya at 5 pm after practice.”

Bubba, “okayyyyy. bye.”

Third scenario. It was the morning of Wee One’s first Tulsa dentist appointment. I dropped off Wee One at preschool and was going back to pick him up at 11am then we were traveling on to Tulsa. I sped home and unloaded the dishwasher, then I was in the process of doing the laundry, when my cell phone rang:

Hubs, “what are you doing?”

Me, “throwing laundry into the dryer. why?”

Hubs, “hmm.”

Me, “what?”

Hubs, “I thought I saw you pulling out of the drive thru at the bank.”

Me, “nope. Ive been home since 8:15 am.”

Hubs, “hmmm.”

Me, “dont you believe me? because if ya do not, you can drive your happy ass home and check out my story.”

Hubs, “ no, I believe you. It just really, really looked like you.”

Me, ” hmm

Hubs, ” I was driving thru the alley behind the city law shop going to the bank’s drive thru. I was going to cash a check for you incase you did not have enough cash.”

Me, “I did that yesterday. I have enough cash, if I have an emergency, I have my MasterCard.”

Hubs, “do not use the card, it’s nearly paid off.”

Me, “okay, okay, okay.”

Thinking to myself, “oops. Hub’s isnt gonna be happy when my next MC statement comes around BUT I needed those new summer clothes for my upcoming vacation.”

Hubs, “bye and dont use the MasterCard when we have the cash.

Me, “see ya.”

A Fourth time. This past Saturday best friend L left me a voicemail message on my cell phone when I was outside doing barn chores :

Best friend L’s message, “I just saw you pulling out of the Git-N-Go and the carwash, R and I are going to eat at Bad Brads, we were just calling you to see if you wanted to eat with us…..that is if you feel well enough to eat. I hope your feeling better. Call me when you get this.”

The impostor is convincing enough to fool best friend L.
I am worried….

 Even my in-laws had mentioned seeing me and my car in town when I was not anywhere near town.

Hmmmm.

When I purchased my car over 2 years ago, new, it was fairly unique and no one else had one in the same color or year as I.

Eventually, a couple of people bought the same make, model, year, color as my car but those people did not look anything like me at all.

Now there is a driver out there in a car exactly like mine, who,evidentially, is a spitting image of my big, blonde, self. 

I am thinking it is time for a Vanity plate on my car!

or

for hubs to purchase me that 2008 Ford Mustang convertible I so desperately want….

Saturday I sent hubs to Wal-Mart for laundry detergant, rapid release Tylenol gelcaps, and Tidy Cat Multi-Cat kitty litter (the scoopable kind, I only use this brand it is by far worth the money!)

Hubs did buy everything on the list but came home with one thing extra….A BUBBLE MACHINE.

What was he thinking??????!!!!!!!????????!!!!!

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28 Comments

Filed under Family Life, Rants

28 responses to “Imposter

  1. What a beautiful horse picture! I’d frame that and put it on my wall. Isn’t it strange that so many people have seen you when you weren’t really there! Sort of creepy!!

  2. Katie

    lol.. BG! That is strange yet funny! 🙂

    My brother once swore he saw a picture of me in a motorcycle magazine…..

    So if everyone has a twin maybe yours just moved to town… ?

    I love bubbles!

    Beautiful shot of the horse!

    Summer clothes? 😉 Perfect time to buy them!

  3. dickiebo

    Can’t really guess what he was thinking! Maybe you should get him to take things a bit easier!

  4. Your only hope is that the imposter is getting the same treatment on her side! You should set up a sting and keep an eye out for her. Tell all your friends to keep their cameras ready and catch her.

  5. Rebecca

    The bubble machine is really cool. Go hubs! I know wee one is having a ball!

    I am hooked on Fresh step cat litter. It has llarger granuales and the kitties don’t track it ALL over the house. It has a fresh scent and covers well-odor wise. I pay more but it’s definately worth it!

  6. I LOVE it… (want a bubble machine)

    interesting. you are going to have to stalk this imposter.

  7. arkansassongbird-I thought it was sorta ‘creepy’ too.

    katie-Ive been told about 5X in my life I look exactly like someone else…..I guess we may have more than ONE twin, no?

    dickiebo-oh, you just have to know my husband!

    karmynR-Good idea, Im telling everyone w/ a camera phone to get the imposters pic!

    rebecca-I made Wee One take it OUTSIDE, I am mean like that….I love the TidyCat, it clumps and smells soooo good.

    melanie-I think Ill have my hubs and friends do as Karmyn mentioned.

  8. Love the photos! Wee One always seems like such a happy boy!! 🙂 My mother saw him and said “Oh, boy! He’s happy”. This imposter sounds like Britney Spears or Paris Hilton doubles. I’d tell each friend to check your licence plates out first. Isn’t it nice to be such a celebrity! 😀

  9. wal-mart has bubble machines?
    i’ll have to check that out. my kids (three cats) would love it.

  10. P.S.: Click on the first site I have listed on my Blogroll. Turn up the speakers too. I think this may be the car for you!

  11. it’s a doppleganger…………

  12. jo

    I’d hold out for the Mustang 🙂
    I will be “out to lunch” and stopping in sporadically until I’m all put back together by Friday. Glad you are feeling better.
    I would give anything to have that horse picture framed,too !
    Wee looks so “bubbly”

  13. I think it’s creepy too. It would make me nuts. Well, maybe more nuts. but still I wouldn’t like it.

    My hubs also craves the car you’re wanting to update too. But, hey, you can’t haul a horse with a vehicle like that, so what good is it? LOL

    I have to say the bubble machine speaks to me.

  14. Bubbles!!!!!! We love bubbles. 🙂

  15. Kat

    OMG!!! Hubs must have been thinking of what a GREAT picture that bubble machine would make…I love it!!!!!

    You know they say every one has a twin out there..but one with the same car, same hair and in the same town?? Thats creepy!!! I bet you’re looking around like crazy hoping to see it!! I know I would be…LOL

  16. That is wierd. The imposter, not the bubbles.

  17. MM-okay, I shall cjeck out the link 🙂

    Gino-Our Marvin likes it until the bubbles become too thick.

    Pamela- taken from wikipedia “In the vernacular, “Doppelgänger” has come to refer (as in German) to any double or look-alike of a person—most commonly an “evil twin”. The literal translation of the German word is “doublewalker”, meaning someone who is acting (e.g. walking) the same way as another person”

    Jo-hurry back 🙂

    risingrainbow-oh, how I LOVE the new mustangs. I want one so bad I cannot stand it. Hubs HATES Ford 😦

    Brian-Ill send u the bubble machine AND hubs…heheheh

    kat-creepy indeed, especially since we live in such a rural area.

    scary-weird, yep. I have yet to see this lookalike

  18. An Imposter……..Creepy!!!! I love the bubble machine!

  19. Totally get a vanity plate. I have one; love it. mk

  20. Oh my! You are going to get blamed for something and it is not even you! Bubbles! Totally agree on the kitty litter! Why bother with it if it is not clumpable/scoopable?

  21. Don’t forget about your look alike in Northern Michigan! teehee!! We had fun the “old” days!

  22. callie-yep, creepy

    markira-Im thinking Ill get a vanity plate quicker than another new car!

    KD-I am hoping whoever the imposter is, she is a good person and not some barfly/drug type! yikes

    Jules-Haha! we used to be able to fool EVERYONE! its nice to have a sister who is my spitting image 🙂

  23. Please be careful not to leave any DNA samples (fingerprints, saliva, mucus, blood, or other fluids) in a public place or where someone can access it. I fear that the next step the imposter may take is to replicate your DNA and be able to fool bio-metric machines. It will be difficult to regain your identity when this happens. Also, leave a secret code word with friends and family so that know it is actually you – but give it to them in person. Whoever is doing this can probably access your data and voice communications.

    Best of luck to you. I know this is frustrating.

  24. are you saying you’re the evil one… ha ha ha haa.

  25. That’s strange and creepy and funny all at the same time.

    Love the bubble machine I’m coming over to enjoy it.

    I have had several people since i started working back out in public ask me “Are you so and so’s daughter?” Or “Are you so and so’s sister.” or “Are you related to so and so”. My answer to all of them “No, don’t think so. I’m adopted so I will never know.” Then i go on my little happy way.

  26. johnnypeepers-lol! okay Ill do the code thing but I am pretty ‘unique’ so it would be hard for the imposter to fool up close…

    pamela-heheheh, YEP!

    susan-being adopted, you may or may not be. weird. hows the new beau???

  27. Pingback: Late For Breakfast And William Petersen Is Delicious « Ramblings From The Reservation

  28. Pingback: Imposter II « Ramblings From The Reservation

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